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✨ Who Had a Blinder?
Lewis Dunk (Brighton): If you somehow managed to have Brighton’s captain in your side, pat yourself on the back. Dunk didn’t just marshal a rock-solid defense in the 5–0 demolition of Coventry City, he smashed in an absolute worldie from range to cap off a monster double-digit haul.

Bruno Guimarães (Arsenal): Dropped to the bench initially, Bruno came on and immediately changed the game against Sunderland, breaking the deadlock with a stunner and sparking a 2–0 away win for the Gunners [cite: 1.2.3].

Erling Haaland (Man City): Quiet for large chunks of the Manchester derby chaos, the big Norwegian popped up with the decisive goal at Old Trafford to keep City’s perfect start rolling. Standard service resumed for his millions of owners.

💩 Who Had a Stinker?
Phil Foden (Man City): Talk about a nightmare cameo. Foden completely lost his cool in the Manchester derby, getting shown a straight red card in the 23rd minute after lashing out at Bruno Fernandes [cite: 1.1.1]. A brutal minus-score and a suspension incoming for everyone who brought him in.

Tottenham & Liverpool Attackers: If you captained a Red or a Spur this week, look away now. Liverpool stumbled to a drab 0–0 home draw against Fulham, while Spurs drew 0–0 with Everton, leaving managers tearing their hair out over blank after blank from premium assets.

Aston Villa & Spurs Defense: Both sides are somehow stuck on 1 point from their opening fixtures after Villa fell 2–1 at home to Nottingham Forest and Spurs continued their strange dry spell in front of goal.

How did your team survive the carnage this week? Did you dodge the Foden red or are you taking a hit already? Let us know below!

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